Friday, October 9, 2009

The indefinable emotion

I thought he was strange. As we became friends I thought he was cool. When I came to know him more, he seemed funny. When he started having crush on me he looked shy. Very sweet

One fine evening he wanted to see me, I hoped ok..a casual talk may be. To my fear he proposed me. I was not able to say anything as I knew I liked that person but not more than a friend. I always had the fear that this might happen someday. So much innocence and so much truth in the words. I could sense how much he meant when he said 'you are the one' More then the words his eye spoke.

Why but why couldn't I love him? He was good looking, he was a true lover, he cared for me and I knew I was the only one to him. He told me I was the most beautiful girl he ever saw ( shall never hear such words from any other person on the planet). Anything I do was an amazement to him.

People doesn't have reason as to what they fall in love. And that time I did not have the reason why I could not fall in love. The fact that we are not from the same country was the least possible reason.

When he left I could see tears falling down his cheek. It did hurt me, but again I do not want to love him out of sympathy. As much as I don't want to be loved by someone just because I love him, I don't want to love somebody for the reasons of loving me. As much as I wanted to love him, I couldn't lie to myself. More so he deserves someone better, someone who will come with a true heart and embrace all his pain.

As I write this article today, I don't miss him but I sure do feel bad for not being able to love him and hurting him unintentionally. What can anyone do? For love is but all about pain and tears. Until I find a way to understand love from a new angle, thats all I can is to hurt and to be hurt.

If only my heart can fall in love with the person who loves me. If only love is all about smiling. If only love is something to be returned in response for something given. If only the heart doesn't have her own mind when it comes to falling in love. If only falling in love is so easy. If only love has a definition.

PS; “...but i am not the man your heart is missing, thats why you go away I know..yes I know..” and with this song lotey is going to sleep!

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