As the year ends

So what if few bad things happened? Best part is I don't seem to remember any of those. Rejoicing to those wonderful moments which are worth looking back. All I got to say is thank you all, all those people who came with reasons big and small to make me smile.

Year 2009, I wish to say was a very successful year but the fact more than many reasons I got, to call it one memorable year doesn't at all allow me to rate it below any of the past years either. So, year 2009 might not have been a perfect one but it sure was a memorable one. I claim, it would be the most memorable year for all times to come (if anyone wants to think as to why..!).

Come 2010, I am looking forward to all those surprises that I am sure you got in stored for me. I pray, let every surprise be of fortune, of merit, success, achievements and of wonders. Let all my wishes be fulfilled without having to deprive any others of their wishes. Me as an individual won’t let my parents down, I pray to keep them smiling. Together with my family I wish not to do any harm to the community. As a community I pray, we would have things to contribute only for the betterment of our society. Society as a whole, let us all come hand in hand in serving our country selflessly.

Our greed has no limit but let us all make sure someone somewhere in the corner of this very land isn't deprived of their basic needs just because someone among our own people used the funds which actually came in the name to help the poor. If I made any sense, may our greed be kept aside and work towards the achievement of GNH instead of preaching it at gatherings.

Last in the line, we as a country, hope to be proud in participating towards the fulfillment of world millennium goals in our own small ways. May our mother Earth remain green as ever!

No resolution but looking forward to everything that’s in stored for me. As the year ends, so is a beginning of yet another new year. A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!

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What along the road not taken?

Battles through the journey I realized, I won all those events, even the ones I assumed I lost because victory isn’t all about the trophy. In life, happiness is the greatest award presented by one’s self mind. When your dreams get shattered, setting new ones shall keep u going and seeing the brightest side of your fall shall leave you with no regret. 

During my primary school days, I was to become a doctor whenever somebody asked me what was it that I wanted to become when I grow up. Very little idea had I those days about what it takes to become a doctor. During the high school days, my so called ambition of becoming a doctor made more sense when I saw myself interested more towards the science subjects. My dreams seemed more realistic when I happily qualified for science stream for my higher secondary degree. Even more enthusiastic I found it when biology was my preference over math. I almost reached where I always wanted to be, when suddenly I could not qualify for the MBBS scholarship offered by RGoB. Now, who wouldn’t call that was a big fall? 

Becoming an engineer had never crossed my mind and I didn’t want to do an engineering course either. So, with not so great heart I accepted the physics bachelor course offered to me. Not that I didn’t like the course but you know how it is, to lose the career of your choice.

It wasn’t long before I realized this career would suit me the best. One year of my course and I knew I would have regretted not knowing the world of physics and the tension and excitement involved in solving the equations, generating an equation. Wouldn’t I have regretted not knowing the electromagnetic theories? The legacy of Albert Einstein, such as the one, law of relativity holds all the reason to scratch your brain. I know, my knowledge in the field is very very less even to call myself a physics student but then I would know even lesser if not for the course I am doing. I don’t know what it would have been like, along the road not taken but as I know this path I am travelling, I am only glad I am here.

Don’t all of us have something called our first love? Accept or deny, we all know for ourselves that before we meet the man of our destiny we encounter few mismatches. One time, like any other being, I saw myself heartbroken and depressed. Today I know, had it not been for the down siding of my so called first love, I would have never known the man I know now. Not knowing him would have been the biggest regret of my life.

One might read this as one piece of many down fallen stories. Yet I ask what have I lost? and I am glad I don’t have an answer.

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The feel and the unknown

We are Ok the most when we are hurt the most. Everything is alright when things seem to go wrong from every possible angle. Sadness and pain in our heart we compensate with a smile on our face. Nothing much can be told when a lot tale is to be shared. Silence sometimes become louder than the words.

People come and go. Reasons are never known why we meet. They never tell why they had to leave. We never ask why they had to go. Sometimes we never want to know why and at times we just never know why. Life is better if it remains a mystry. When one understand the whole plot of anything it sucks the most.

Hearng old songs get you memories, and the memories sweet and bitter whatsoever is nothing more than a pain. Most of the new songs have the same old theme, many times put in different order and words. So better you hear musics sung in a language you dont understand. You hear them sing but you don't really understand what they are singing about. It is so much better. Just feel the music, its like the wind or the love.

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One among many such stories

It was passed midnight, Yelden was sleeping peacefully when she woke up to the crackling sound of
her door. She knew not what was going on when suddenly a man forced himself in. Yelden was just 16,
she was frightened, nervous and scared. She didn't know what to do. She was embarrassed to shout for
help. Her uncle was sleeping in the next room. She thought it was an embarrassment to shout and wake
him up. She pleaded the evil to leave her alone. But no he wont, the lust in him had risen so much so
that even the humanity in him chose to run away. That night Yelden was dishonored. Her respect of
being a girl and all her pride was stolen by the evil.

Next morning she became the talk among his friends. She was then a would be slut and someone whom
they can make visits at night. At 16 it wasn't her fault to keep shut her mouth of revealing such
incidences to anyone related. She was just too embarrassed to tell anyone about that unfaithful night.
Before much time passed few men had already visited her at night.

At 20 Yelden held reputation of a whore. Even her aunt started dishonoring her. Her peers feared to be
friends with her. Every man talked sweet to her until they quench their thirst. At the end of the day no
one was there to hear Yelden's heart. No one has even tried to know her womanly heart. For men she
was just a chance not to miss while to the rest she was an embarrassment to the society.

It was a full moon night, Yelden was lying on her bed. Through the window above she could see the
silver beauty showering her blissful rays down on the earth. The night was quite and everything seemed
simply beautiful. Such was the night that Yelden was taken back to the times of some 10 years ago. She
knew things would have been different if only one such unfaithful night had the fate decided to spare
her mother. She was lost to the days when she was a princess to her caring parents.

Yelden was born to a lovely couple. Farmer by profession they were and lacked those modern luxuries
yet her mother never lacked love and care for her daughter. Yelden lived a life of princess to this most
lovely couple in their little traditional house, until one such night her mother closed her eyes never to
open again. Then after, her life changed completely, not for good.

Yelden's life has been brought this low not by herself. She at one time had her own dreams. Yelden was
dishonored and disrespected by such men whose sisters they want the best out of and whose mothers
they respect the most. Who would ever understand Yelden also has a motherly heart and that she is
also just like any other sister if only she had a brother. She is brought this low not by herself but the
society who has pointed her instead of those men who has in fact taken away all her pride . Such honor
which anyone of us can own but by birth.

Yelden is one another body in whom dwells a soul not so different from any of us. If we ourselves fail to
hear her then how can any other Yelden ever seek justice. When spoken she gets no sympathy instead
she would be talked the bad and wrong one. Is it she who chose the silence or it is the society that
compelled her not to defend?

PS; intended not to offend anyone who come across this article. Those exception few I was meaning :D

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Time I pack my things

Just the books and clothes. Realized I don't really have anything as such to pack. Well that is good cuz I hate packing and specially when there are lots thing to pack I just get lost. More then packing I dislike having lot things to carry while traveling. More so I have to fit my stuff in some of my friends' room. So, lesser the better.

Yes I am going away. Leaving my university soon. Until February next year no university work, yay! How I wish I don't have to carry that suitcase of mine but we cant survive without clothes. I will be needing some changes. By the way not going home. Just moving to some other city here in the same country.

Cant wait to see my friends. Those fun times we had were awesome guys, looking forward to such days once again. Those beach walks I missed the most. As much as I like taking walks in the evening, with friends or alone, I like the ocean. Just a breadth of the ocean drives all my worries away and reminds life is beautiful. Such feeling that you get by just looking at the never ending ocean, I call it touch of paradise. Well it is actually little hard to express the real touch we get. May be such feelings are just meant to feel and to not express.

With all these excitements circulating in my system, I have one reason to feel bad. Feeling sad to leave my friend behind. I know she is going to miss me terribly. Wish I could take her with me but her thesis demands dedication. After all her purpose of being here is not to  miss or to miss, feel sad or to go on a trip. In one year of her being here she made only two good friends, me and a guy from Africa. Not meaning me a good one, just good in friendship with her. That guy will soon fly to Africa. So she has all the reason to feel lonely. I know what is to live in such feelings, sucks big time! Older she might be, both by age and education but we share such relation, that of a rare kind.

Ohh.. anyways I still haven't finish the packing work.

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On his birthday

I feel special as I join you in celebrating your birthday this year. Hope each day you find reasons only to smile.

I know I have been moving a little fast recently but with each talk I have with you I just want to get more close.

I smile not because I am in love but because to me love is you.

Two years ago when we met, little did I know we would get this far. If surprises are this beautiful than I desire nothing more than few surprises of such kind in life, with each surprise beginning with your name.

So a very happy birthday to my dear boy Kinzang. Success and achievement awaits your coming.

My ever lasting love I gift you with intentions only to make you smile and I desire nothing in return but our togetherness.

Today as it is your special day I just want to let you know, YOU really are SPECIAL..to ME

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

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Of dreams and surprises

Some morning you wake up to find yourself that almost all your dreams have taken its phase to reality. Another time you feel, every grip you been holding might fall apart anytime soon, yet there is always an inner voice which wouldn't want you to just stare. Next morning you wake up to new dreams and hopes. Everyday is but a surprise, this surprise which associate yesterday to tomorrow is one definition to living, or the life.

Out of ordinary I dreamed of becoming a princess to one such prince. Things doesn't go our way all the time, and at times it is hard and we feel down hearted and dejected. Every sunrise has the touch of new existence, and sometimes these surprises are just so beautiful.

And you my boy, when you said I am an angel in your life, I was left with no words to speak. I thought deep and said to myself, may be those dreams I dreamed were never enough. Perhaps my dreams were just a little too less. Today I know somewhere far across the pacific you are missing me, but no worries my boy, tell you I miss you more.

If asked, the world might listen but i know there is only you who might actually hear me. When the world demands answer there is only one person who just want to answer instead. What more do I desire? Or what more do I got to say?

Expressions ain't willing to come out easily at times, speaking up your heart isn't that easy. :D all in all, sometimes, its just a little different. Yet those smiles keep shining, and sometimes you can almost feel it for yourself.

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Yet another end of academic year

Having come to the end of my fourth semester, it is such a relief. I remember, few months back I was waiting for my third semester exam to get over. Today I feel almost satisfied as I look back at the works I have done, and the pace I managed to hold. You know how sometime it gets hard to keep going. Lotey might be complaining, may be I am just a little too weak than a lot you, but then again who doesn't feel the burden at least once in a while.

The best I could do was not giving up and being able to take it to the end. This feeling of contentment is one another divine spirit that keep pushing me through with encouragement, and it only widens the enthusiasm in me.

Exam days we become restless. You sit down to study and hear some passers by outside, you need to peep through the window to catch a glimpse of who they are. Other days you hardly bother even if Mr president passes by your door. One hour of study and you are hungry, fifteen minutes and you want to have a cup of tea or coffee, some chips or an ice cream break. So meanwhile you gain some weight also.

Anyway talking about today, I am happy that it is all over and I am relaxed until I begin my next semester, good thing I have break over two months.

Was talking to my mom and she said she misses me a lot. I consoled her saying ' just one year and I will be home'. 'Just' as it might have sounded a word but I know its hard for you and me both. In here, the word 'just' and 'one year' doesn't quite relate. No worries ama, your daughter is going to be back soon more matured, more understanding, more hardworking and as a more responsible person (..lolz, these are actually my few wishes..hehe), but sure I am going be three years older then. One year is not so a short duration but I need to hold on a little more because I already did for two years.

Ohh again, from another angle it sure is a short duration. Last year this time of the year I remember me and my buddies, watching movie the whole afternoon, drinking the whole evening and cooking at 3 o'clock in the morning cuz by then we would all be hungry. Our sleep hours were usually from somewhere around 4 am till pass midday. Those days were awesome, guys! my three buddies, u guys are the coolest ever. This year has become a little different, but I still look forward to such moments in future as we still have one more year to go.

All in all, end of my second year :D

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Words that are; for you

Silence was what all my life became after I was heart broken one time. Out of the blue you came bringing all those forgotten meanings of living back to me. Playing music was what I used to do but with your coming, made me to hear those songs, and I can feel that those musics which I played thousand times did actually have a lot more to tell, more then what came up in the lyrics.

You say that your happiness is me being by your side, so then I assure you to be happy for all times to come. I may not follow you like the shadow but I do promise to be the breath you take. Sometimes I wonder if I can give you the happiness you deserve. If sometimes my limitations are into question then other times I am afraid of my humanly nature. Everyone of us is but just another human, so I hope if I am ever to let you down , do forgive me.

If the world was in my control I would hold you till your last breath, but tomorrow is never certain, the one pray i have this moment is that let our love last forever. While this is certain, hereafter don't forget that you being happy is my peace and a reason to live.

Having all time to myself was the best I used to have. I was happy for not having to divert my time to anyone important. And I thought life was pretty cool and relaxing that way. But now, thinking of you has become a part of my life, and I am happy to feel the happiness that proved much more greater then the smooth flowing life I once had. 

Thinking of you and smiling at your thoughts seem to be more beautiful then having all the world's time to myself. May be I never felt the essence of the living itself but/and, today I thank you for showering all these meanings in me. Never did I think I would love someone or for the word lets say fall in love. Today I can feel I am not loving you but I have once again fallen in love in a true sense and I am only glad that it is you.

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The time that is; just another chapter to lotey's life

'Is it going to rain?' I thought, bending my head backward a little as I tried to stare at the sky that signaled the approaching of a down pour. I smiled as I continued walking along the lonely road. After all rain isn't too bad, I have always loved rain. (more so if it was just a drizzle.. walking in its freshness on a evening like that would have meant much more than the living itself). It was already dusk, felt little tired from the day's schedule.

' Oh! few birds singing' I was caught. Gave one more smile to the thought of how beautiful the coming season would be. 'Spring is not a season but a reason to smile' I thought.

The nature was at its best perfection. It toured me to all its hidden charms. After all me and my thoughts were the only guest she had to worry about at that moment, no body was seen. Soon her beauty drove me away to my wonderland.

I kept walking, bent my head to watch my steps. I smiled again to the thoughts of nothing in particular.

I smiled to the words ' do keep smiling always cuz now here is someone who wants to see you smile and happy all the time' which read on my mobile this morning. I bit my lower lip and took a long blink as I breathed yet another fragrance of the nature which made me feel the touch of paradise. ' am I moving too fast, is this even me?' I wondered. ' am I really in love again after such a long break?' I smiled again. Kept smiling to the thoughts of the promises he made. ' did he really mean it when he said I will be by your side for all times to come' I was still smiling! ' am I doubting him?' I breathed hard. ' nope I am not, I can trust him I know' one another smile held. But hey! ' it would not be him or me who might, if ever, fail to keep the promises we made' I took another long breath. ' if the world is unfair by itself..what can I do, or anyone of us can do? May be, now I found my reason for existence' I shook my head a little and curved my smile a little bigger. ' Now all I have to do is to say, I love you too' I decided.

' life is pretty cool and beautiful if we meet the right person, we both wonder don't we?--but seldom in life two such good people get to life together ' oh! How I miss this friend of mine, I took a deeper breath. Friend I may call but this friendship is yet to be redefined. 'hey! what if life is all about chatting with someone whom we like talking to?' I smiled again remembering typing those words on my laptop. 'may be thats small part of life's happiness and a small part of the bigger purpose of mortality' I smiled again not really understanding the meaning it carried, whatever it may be, ah! he is one such person whose words I wont forget all my life. 'Defining his friendship might take many generations' I smiled again.

Well, how much can I write down? Cuz I smiled to many other reasons.

' where is my key?' pressing against the pocket realizing that I already reached home, I was brought back to reality!

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The heart opens

Often during my high school days I saw myself left in amazement when I had so many so called crushes, which at the most lasted for not more than a week. I used to wonder how would it be to feel a real love. I used to wonder how different it might be from all those crushes I was having at the time. I doubted if falling for someone truly was possible. I doubted if all those ancient love stories we were told ever did exist. But at the end of the day, I used to envy those who said they were truly in love. I too wanted to feel that emotion. All in vain, for every time I thought I was in love I saw some reasons to get over with my feelings or sometimes without even a reason my feelings just faded away.

I waited for so long to fall in love with the true definition. Alas! came the day, now don't even remember which day or which occasion it happened. It sure was a joy, every smile given held the meaning of charm. Mornings begun with smile greeting your thoughts. Days were just a moment lost in the thoughts. All those thoughts where in, me and the guy living a life of eternity love.

The most hurt came when I had to face the fact that the boy who held my definition of love had his purpose for some other me. I, for a long time continued loving that person. I knew that wasn't the love which fate had set for me. Still I chose to do justice to my heart almost feeling against the so called fate. I thought loving someone doesn't anyway create the destination of wining his heart. So loving him without any expectations was what I did. Only I can tell how devastating it was to the little heart.

Life goes on and change inevitable. With passing time I felt the need to open my heart. For that going, I had to let go the lost love, rather unfounded love. The love which was never mine anyways. I let it go so much so that I was left with no emotions. Falling in love became a mile's story. Could not fall in love even when I wanted to. It was all good, for it might have prevented my second tragedy from coming into being.

My present; no feelings of any sort to anyone whatsoever. It is such a bliss to be free of the love emotion. Life has now become all about smile suddenly. All I care is the smile I hold. No hard feelings of any kind to the one I loved. I still love him but the reasons now being completely different, it is now from the extreme opposite perspective.

..and today I have some other reason to smile. Yet another person came by be me to fill my heart with reasons only to smile. Keeps me wondering how some unknown people could leave me this touched. How those talks could bring flavor to my otherwise happy smile. Guys! I tell you this is not love. I wouldn't care to answer if someone asks me ' what is it then, lotey?' all I can say is my purity at heart I can feel.

This person told me, tomorrow I will change my style of laughing and that I would no longer find the same charm in talking to him. I didn't deny the say. This might be a fact, I don't know..i seriously don't know. After all, it is life and change being the only law. But hey! tomorrow would be yet another story. So i  care not what tomorrow might hold but today's reason I wont forget for all times yet to come.

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This moment!

I live for today, for my past gives me pain. Happy or sad, memories are always a pain. Sorrows of those sad days rejuvenate as I flash back the days. Those happy little moments brings me nostalgia. But this moment, the very present is the moment I want to smile, is the moment I have.

The dreams of yesterday are lost and to compensate the loss I am dreaming some new ones, which might take a little time before it come into existence. So that is going to be my future, which we all know is never certain. The best anyone can do is to keep trying and hoping. Thats important.

However, all these are either past which we want to forget, take it as an experience or cherish as a memory or the future which I say is still on its way. So the one we have is this moment. It belongs to no one. Not to anyone, it doesn't even belong to your own past or the future. It is the moment you have, I have.

Bring our thoughts to the present to create a better chance of reaching the goals. Today might be simple, as in the saying 'grasses are always greener on the other side' and you might just want to be in the future where it is created greener on your mind. Today is going to matter when tomorrow comes, for life is but a succession of many todays. When tomorrow comes today's smile is going to count, for happiness is but the collection of our smiles.

PS; by the way this is my today! Doing nothing meaningful haha :D

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Out of nothing!

As I came back from the university, exhausted and hungry;
I meet my friend in front of the door, she sees my assignment grade and shouts ' ohh my god', as if I murdered her child. She always brags bout getting high distinction during all her college life. What is there to be so much of ' ohh my god ' in my getting B negative. After all I didn't even fail.

Often I am left in amazement with some people's self centeredness. Not that friend I am talking bout, it is yet another person who is self centered. I wonder if they are human. Well of course this is the very human nature in fact. I am not saying I am good, I do feel like a devil myself when I come across some real humble people. But some are just too much. Some scoundrels doesn't even want take their girlfriend at gatherings, because they think she is not good enough. Some worthless girls wait for silly reasons to breakup with their boy so that they can run after some rascals. I wouldn't care if all those idiots burn in hell.

I love sleeping, people often say 75 percent of my life is spend sleeping. Yet, it is no surprising if I wake up as early as 6 o'clock in the morning of some important occasion . I am very careless by birth, I don't even remember where I keep my pens, most of the time in the class, or at home when I am to write my homework I would be looking out for my pen for hours or sometimes the book itself would be left in the class. Yet, it is no surprising when I turn up with everything needed on the day of my final exam.

Why am I writing all these stuff here? even I don't know. When I am suppose to be doing my assignment I am here writing this article as if I want to become a writer. I should be somewhere in the physics lab cleaving some fibers and coupling them together and getting the wrong result or nothing at all at the end of the experiment, instead of trying to write something out of nothing. Oh! life isn't fun all the time, still I smile most of the time. I better get back when I have something good to share.

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The indefinable emotion

I thought he was strange. As we became friends I thought he was cool. When I came to know him more, he seemed funny. When he started having crush on me he looked shy. Very sweet

One fine evening he wanted to see me, I hoped ok..a casual talk may be. To my fear he proposed me. I was not able to say anything as I knew I liked that person but not more than a friend. I always had the fear that this might happen someday. So much innocence and so much truth in the words. I could sense how much he meant when he said 'you are the one' More then the words his eye spoke.

Why but why couldn't I love him? He was good looking, he was a true lover, he cared for me and I knew I was the only one to him. He told me I was the most beautiful girl he ever saw ( shall never hear such words from any other person on the planet). Anything I do was an amazement to him.

People doesn't have reason as to what they fall in love. And that time I did not have the reason why I could not fall in love. The fact that we are not from the same country was the least possible reason.

When he left I could see tears falling down his cheek. It did hurt me, but again I do not want to love him out of sympathy. As much as I don't want to be loved by someone just because I love him, I don't want to love somebody for the reasons of loving me. As much as I wanted to love him, I couldn't lie to myself. More so he deserves someone better, someone who will come with a true heart and embrace all his pain.

As I write this article today, I don't miss him but I sure do feel bad for not being able to love him and hurting him unintentionally. What can anyone do? For love is but all about pain and tears. Until I find a way to understand love from a new angle, thats all I can say..love is to hurt and to be hurt.

If only my heart can fall in love with the person who loves me. If only love is all about smiling. If only love is something to be returned in response for something given. If only the heart doesn't have her own mind when it comes to falling in love. If only falling in love is so easy. If only love has a definition.

PS; “...but i am not the man your heart is missing, thats why you go away I know..yes I know..” and with this song lotey is going to sleep!

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We and the doings

How many more are left to be blamed? For how long are you going to keep blaming?who is responsible? The creator himself, your spouse, you family, friends or the fate? Etc etc.. One thing we must realize is whatever were (or are) the causes of our current position, the first decision came from our own self. Every circumstances that one face today are but the cause of choices made yesterday.

To feel whether the environment surrounding one to be good or bad just depends on one's perception. Depends on whether you want to take in all the possible good views or see only the repulsive ones. Everything that is happening with you, good or bad, is just around you alone. How you want to see, so you see. Many times our knowledge bout the world is limited to/by our perception and interpretation.

It is not the girlfriends leaving their boyfriend for a better one, nor it is the boyfriends cheating on their girl. Let us say it is the human beings doing that.

Therefore its no time to keep blaming some other person for everything that happened and somethings that didn't happen. Its time we make our own fortune. Everyone has equal right to be happy, for there is just one life and we don't want live a sorry life. Do we?

Let us make our loved ones proud of us. Lets do something meaningful to bring smile on our parents face. Our parents must have done so many sacrifices to meet our demands and desires. So do they not deserve a little in return? Paying back is simple. Do something beneficial to oneself and our parents are more than happy. Lets do it for our brother/sister(s) who always wanted their siblings to do better then her colleague's sister. For some, whose elders might have taken the parents role in bringing up their younger ones. Do they all not deserve something in return? And that something is easy to give, as I said, by simply taking our life in the right direction.

In course of making our loved ones happy, one might not realize how much one have already achieved for oneself. This way, one fine day you will have a reason to smile at yourself and that time, feeling proud bout oneself wont be any wrong.

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the much dedicated poem

Three days back I wrote a poem dedicated to one of my close friends. Well actually to tell, it wasn't much of a poem. Was just some random lines which came up upon visiting his profile on one of the social networking site. That friend sounded a little stressed in the message he sent to me. So I thought I might cheer him up with that stupid poem of mine.

Haha.. unfortunately, i didn't realize thats gonna piss him off instead. Aww..my poem and also my poor friend, he didn't have the strength to withstand my nonsense. Wasn't intended to annoy him, but yeah somethings always turn out opposite. Lol..i must say poorer me, my poem got busted.

Haha anyway I am wondering, am I so bad at writing poems? it was a bad writing..i accept. My sweet little friend. Aww me and the skills..sigh! Its bad..labsa its cool..haha

I better stop writing poems or else, someday some frineds surely gonna stab me..

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5th oct, the walk

And today evening as I was taking a walk, just me alone. Those trees really got something to share. I could feel that winter has already said good bye. The leaves seem to smell more refreshing like never before. I lost there in the glory of nature in the dusk. My thoughts wondered..lost in the fragrance of nature's beauty.

I could feel how fast the time flies. Spring is here, another reminder as to how fast the time passes, with achievements received only half, and my own potential half explored.

I was telling myself that I could have done a lot more than what I did in actual. I realized in due time of procrastinating work I already lost a lot of time and potential.

Well I know this happens not just with me but to everyone. Always our capacity and abilities remain half utilized and to that we regret knowing how much more we could have achieved had we made full use of our intelligence, capability, ability and all the those words you can think of.

Yet, I know this season will pass by us with just the same flaws. Anyway, every season is a season of new hopes and dreams.

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The trust within

Every fall gives you an opportunity to rise. Dreams may seem far and hope almost dying, but still who doesn't keep hope? Hope while losing hope.

Hard work is the only way to success. Without hard work no miracle is going to happen. More importantly, your attitude can get you where you want to be. The foremost quality in one should be having faith in oneself.

Believe in oneself is the cause of enthusiasm, which thereby leads to achievement. When one believe in oneself, every fall opens an opportunity. When one has the believe in oneself, he wouldn't fear even when he knows there is lot to fear.

With this believe one shall be smiling someday ( hopefully..hehe).

Still more, if you are compassionate, have respect to elders, regards to young and understanding to the peers then, you become a real person. Definition for beauty thus sum up!

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As they revisit

Year 2006 was the best of times for them. Yangki , Yangchen and Penjor happened to be class mates. They had their own circle of friends but the three together formed one wonderfully funny group. The three had vastly different characters, yet they had so much in common. All three of them talked too much and they all had extremely high sense of humor. They came from a completely different parental background. In fact, they rooted from different regions. Yangki from the western central, Yangchen from the northern and Penjor from the east. As much as they hate to study they enjoyed being in school. Everyday was another day of fun and laughter. They used to laugh over every single talk they shared. Yangchen despite being the youngest knew what was to be done at what time, but she was too innocent or rather carefree to care bout her doings and sayings. Yangki had this weired character, she hardly knew what was going on with herself in the first place. Penjor hardly cared about anything whatsoever the situation was. They teased, made fun and laughed at each other's jokes and inabilities. Sometimes they argued over topics that hardly contained any importance to the outside world. At times it was fun for Yangki and Yangchen to pretend that they were hurt and angry over something Penjor did or said. All in all, those were the best of days. Sharing such moments had its own danger side. Yangchen sometimes doubted herself that she was falling in love with Penjor. She revealed in jest sometimes that she liked Penjor. Penjor was careful, he hardly saw any truth in it. He assumed it to be just another prank from the two girls. Yangki too considered it to be Yangchen's one way of teasing Penjor. May be it was just an infatuation. Even Yangki had those strange feeling towards Penjor. Even during the weekends she used to miss Penjor's silly jokes. The word love did not occurr to her mind anyways. May be she was too careful to fall in love. Penjor wondered what was going on with the two girls. He too felt a sense of belongingness with the two girls. However, the fact 'everything has an end to it' played its role. They finally graduated their high school. As much as their jolly nature, they all were quite bright students. They finished with good grades. They are now studying in different colleges. Yangki now realized that she had loved Penjor all the way along. She misses the time they had. No fairy tale miracle worked out for her love though she truly felt for Penjor. Penjor now has a girlfriend and he loves her dearly. Yangki has moved on as well. She wouldn't dare let him know bout the feelings she is having although she doubt Penjor might have also had some soft corner for her. While for Yangchen, despite having told bout her feelings for Penjor in half joke, they didn't hook up together. She too got a boyfriend now. Penjor on the other side, could not understand the friendship he had shared with the two girls. Everyone seem to have moved on with life. They are all happy with the present days as well. Still, those good times they always remembered. They make visit at times to those fun days they had shared, bringing nostalgia. They wished sometimes if they could turn back time. Revisiting their gone by days made them understand each other better. They gave more thought to the words they had spoken. They realized, perhaps, there was always some truth when Yangchen said she liked Penjor. Perhaps, there always had been some true feelings for Penjor under Yangki's innocent smile. Perhaps, Penjor too had lost a part of him to the two darlings. While they are keeping hope to meet someday, they are in touch, separated by oceans and mountains! and when they meet, days are never going to be the same like before PS; '..when the blue night is over my face..on the dark side of the world in space..when I'm all alone with the stars above..you are the one I love..bla bla..' goes on MLTR on my PC as I write this article.

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In actual!

We complain of missing home while some doesn't even have a shelter to stay. We complain of getting old while some has to die young. Complain that our parents aren't rich enough to buy all the fancy things while we know some doesn't even have a mother. Want the latest design while some cannot afford to keep themselves warm. Don't want to eat the left overs, our own left over food, while some go starving. Complain of being cheated and betrayal while some aren't even loved. Complain of having to study while some are dying for opportunity. Complain that our friends are not understandable while u don't even have a clue that you aren't fully known to yourself yet. Resources finish but desires grow. Helping hands are in shortage but needing help ever increase. Giving is always less but expectations undefined. True friends are rare but enemies can be hidden inside our so called friends as well. Needs a favor but lacks in consideration. Jealousy is a common emotion but appreciation hard to generate. False promises are easily given but the commitments almost none. Fruits on the next branch always seem better. The one whom you love always seem better than the one who loves you dearly. Forgetting that the only person who actually can show you the world would be the one who loves you. Finally in due time of our search for something beyond reach, we forget to live life. We forget that at the end it would not be the bad days that we will remember but that, it 'will' be the little happy moments which will bring smile on our face as we leave the world. Lets keep in mind that not having enemies is not as important as to have real friends. Absence of bad qualities doesn't really count but the presence of good nature can make a big deference, especially if one has the ability to shine it through the eyes and reflect it on others. So friends, lets take in the best of every situation. With each mistake made, u become wiser. The worst of days are there to remind us the harsh reality of this very existence, and of course the good times are the one that count. So yeah, stop waiting for the rhyme, who knows might never come. Be all :) and smiles.

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A little of a love story

I get tired at times. Running away from ones own feeling is the worst chase I have ever had. Why am I not speaking up, when I got too much to pour out? It is not because I don't have ear that would listen. Friends are there I know. So then why? when it is known that speaking out lessens the pain you hold.

After all these years, I suddenly remembered the day when I first saw you. It was just a casual encounter, in a crowd. Nothing special, was just like seeing another stranger like we do in our every day life. I can never remember how when and where the second time I saw you. I probably didn't have you anywhere in my mind back then. However, time did bring us together. Now I can figure out it was after one or two years of my first seeing you that we became friends.

Was it the time, fate, destiny, something that i chose or was it our having to be together that made me develop this so called unusual feeling towards you? I shall never have the answer to this question. Anyways, whatever it was, there we went, became friends. Indeed a friend to remember and friendship to last till the end of times. The days I remember were the best of times. Nothing in particular I can remember to write it down.

One unknown day I realized I was in love with the person whom I truly defined as a friend. However, nothing could be changed when I had to face the fact that your heart had already been occupied. Hard were the days, those days where I lost someone who weren't mine from the very beginning. I did tell myself it wasn't the end of life but still went through a little unspoken emotional dejection. Those days, I tell, experienced a friend called loneliness. Loneliness despite the loving friends around me. Something always seemed empty within me.

However were the times. Life went by, time passed by and here I am today, writing this article. Memory remains and 'that' we cherish.

I don't blame you for all that I went through cuz I know one cannot fulfill everyone's expectation. One has the right to choose one's happiness and that happiness one cannot sacrifice for someone else. I truly know, I have no hard feelings of any sort towards you. In fact I owe you appreciations cuz from your love I learned to let go. I learned to love. Learned to just love, expecting nothing in return. From your love I experienced the very love itself. Now I understand the ones with broken heart.

I am glad that I met you one time. I miss you sometimes and when I miss you..i just miss you, nothing more or nothing even less!

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