What along the road not taken?

Battles through the journey I realized, I won all those events, even the ones I assumed I lost because victory isn’t all about the trophy. In life, happiness is the greatest award presented by one’s self mind. When your dreams get shattered, setting new ones shall keep u going and seeing the brightest side of your fall shall leave you with no regret. 

During my primary school days, I was to become a doctor whenever somebody asked me what was it that I wanted to become when I grow up. Very little idea had I those days about what it takes to become a doctor. During the high school days, my so called ambition of becoming a doctor made more sense when I saw myself interested more towards the science subjects. My dreams seemed more realistic when I happily qualified for science stream for my higher secondary degree. Even more enthusiastic I found it when biology was my preference over math. I almost reached where I always wanted to be, when suddenly I could not qualify for the MBBS scholarship offered by RGoB. Now, who wouldn’t call that was a big fall? 

Becoming an engineer had never crossed my mind and I didn’t want to do an engineering course either. So, with not so great heart I accepted the physics bachelor course offered to me. Not that I didn’t like the course but you know how it is, to lose the career of your choice.

It wasn’t long before I realized this career would suit me the best. One year of my course and I knew I would have regretted not knowing the world of physics and the tension and excitement involved in solving the equations, generating an equation. Wouldn’t I have regretted not knowing the electromagnetic theories? The legacy of Albert Einstein, such as the one, law of relativity holds all the reason to scratch your brain. I know, my knowledge in the field is very very less even to call myself a physics student but then I would know even lesser if not for the course I am doing. I don’t know what it would have been like, along the road not taken but as I know this path I am travelling, I am only glad I am here.

Don’t all of us have something called our first love? Accept or deny, we all know for ourselves that before we meet the man of our destiny we encounter few mismatches. One time, like any other being, I saw myself heartbroken and depressed. Today I know, had it not been for the down siding of my so called first love, I would have never known the man I know now. Not knowing him would have been the biggest regret of my life.

One might read this as one piece of many down fallen stories. Yet I ask what have I lost? and I am glad I don’t have an answer.

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The feel and the unknown

We are Ok the most when we are hurt the most. Everything is alright when things seem to go wrong from every possible angle. Sadness and pain in our heart we compensate with a smile on our face. Nothing much can be told when a lot tale is to be shared. Silence sometimes become louder than the words.

People come and go. Reasons are never known why we meet. They never tell why they had to leave. We never ask why they had to go. Sometimes we never want to know why and at times we just never know why. Life is better if it remains a mystry. When one understand the whole plot of anything it sucks the most.

Hearng old songs get you memories, and the memories sweet and bitter whatsoever is nothing more than a pain. Most of the new songs have the same old theme, many times put in different order and words. So better you hear musics sung in a language you dont understand. You hear them sing but you don't really understand what they are singing about. It is so much better. Just feel the music, its like the wind or the love.

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One among many such stories

It was passed midnight, Yelden was sleeping peacefully when she woke up to the crackling sound of
her door. She knew not what was going on when suddenly a man forced himself in. Yelden was just 16,
she was frightened, nervous and scared. She didn't know what to do. She was embarrassed to shout for
help. Her uncle was sleeping in the next room. She thought it was an embarrassment to shout and wake
him up. She pleaded the evil to leave her alone. But no he wont, the lust in him had risen so much so
that even the humanity in him chose to run away. That night Yelden was dishonored. Her respect of
being a girl and all her pride was stolen by the evil.

Next morning she became the talk among his friends. She was then a would be slut and someone whom
they can make visits at night. At 16 it wasn't her fault to keep shut her mouth of revealing such
incidences to anyone related. She was just too embarrassed to tell anyone about that unfaithful night.
Before much time passed few men had already visited her at night.

At 20 Yelden held reputation of a whore. Even her aunt started dishonoring her. Her peers feared to be
friends with her. Every man talked sweet to her until they quench their thirst. At the end of the day no
one was there to hear Yelden's heart. No one has even tried to know her womanly heart. For men she
was just a chance not to miss while to the rest she was an embarrassment to the society.

It was a full moon night, Yelden was lying on her bed. Through the window above she could see the
silver beauty showering her blissful rays down on the earth. The night was quite and everything seemed
simply beautiful. Such was the night that Yelden was taken back to the times of some 10 years ago. She
knew things would have been different if only one such unfaithful night had the fate decided to spare
her mother. She was lost to the days when she was a princess to her caring parents.

Yelden was born to a lovely couple. Farmer by profession they were and lacked those modern luxuries
yet her mother never lacked love and care for her daughter. Yelden lived a life of princess to this most
lovely couple in their little traditional house, until one such night her mother closed her eyes never to
open again. Then after, her life changed completely, not for good.

Yelden's life has been brought this low not by herself. She at one time had her own dreams. Yelden was
dishonored and disrespected by such men whose sisters they want the best out of and whose mothers
they respect the most. Who would ever understand Yelden also has a motherly heart and that she is
also just like any other sister if only she had a brother. She is brought this low not by herself but the
society who has pointed her instead of those men who has in fact taken away all her pride . Such honor
which anyone of us can own but by birth.

Yelden is one another body in whom dwells a soul not so different from any of us. If we ourselves fail to
hear her then how can any other Yelden ever seek justice. When spoken she gets no sympathy instead
she would be talked the bad and wrong one. Is it she who chose the silence or it is the society that
compelled her not to defend?

PS; intended not to offend anyone who come across this article. Those exception few I was meaning :D

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Time I pack my things

Just the books and clothes. Realized I don't really have anything as such to pack. Well that is good cuz I hate packing and specially when there are lots thing to pack I just get lost. More then packing I dislike having lot things to carry while traveling. More so I have to fit my stuff in some of my friends' room. So, lesser the better.

Yes I am going away. Leaving my university soon. Until February next year no university work, yay! How I wish I don't have to carry that suitcase of mine but we cant survive without clothes. I will be needing some changes. By the way not going home. Just moving to some other city here in the same country.

Cant wait to see my friends. Those fun times we had were awesome guys, looking forward to such days once again. Those beach walks I missed the most. As much as I like taking walks in the evening, with friends or alone, I like the ocean. Just a breadth of the ocean drives all my worries away and reminds life is beautiful. Such feeling that you get by just looking at the never ending ocean, I call it touch of paradise. Well it is actually little hard to express the real touch we get. May be such feelings are just meant to feel and to not express.

With all these excitements circulating in my system, I have one reason to feel bad. Feeling sad to leave my friend behind. I know she is going to miss me terribly. Wish I could take her with me but her thesis demands dedication. After all her purpose of being here is not to  miss or to miss, feel sad or to go on a trip. In one year of her being here she made only two good friends, me and a guy from Africa. Not meaning me a good one, just good in friendship with her. That guy will soon fly to Africa. So she has all the reason to feel lonely. I know what is to live in such feelings, sucks big time! Older she might be, both by age and education but we share such relation, that of a rare kind.

Ohh.. anyways I still haven't finish the packing work.

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On his birthday

I feel special as I join you in celebrating your birthday this year. Hope each day you find reasons only to smile.

I know I have been moving a little fast recently but with each talk I have with you I just want to get more close.

I smile not because I am in love but because to me love is you.

Two years ago when we met, little did I know we would get this far. If surprises are this beautiful than I desire nothing more than few surprises of such kind in life, with each surprise beginning with your name.

So a very happy birthday to my dear boy Kinzang. Success and achievement awaits your coming.

My ever lasting love I gift you with intentions only to make you smile and I desire nothing in return but our togetherness.

Today as it is your special day I just want to let you know, YOU really are SPECIAL..to ME

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

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Of dreams and surprises

Some morning you wake up to find yourself that almost all your dreams have taken its phase to reality. Another time you feel, every grip you been holding might fall apart anytime soon, yet there is always an inner voice which wouldn't want you to just stare. Next morning you wake up to new dreams and hopes. Everyday is but a surprise, this surprise which associate yesterday to tomorrow is one definition to living, or the life.

Out of ordinary I dreamed of becoming a princess to one such prince. Things doesn't go our way all the time, and at times it is hard and we feel down hearted and dejected. Every sunrise has the touch of new existence, and sometimes these surprises are just so beautiful.

And you my boy, when you said I am an angel in your life, I was left with no words to speak. I thought deep and said to myself, may be those dreams I dreamed were never enough. Perhaps my dreams were just a little too less. Today I know somewhere far across the pacific you are missing me, but no worries my boy, tell you I miss you more.

If asked, the world might listen but i know there is only you who might actually hear me. When the world demands answer there is only one person who just want to answer instead. What more do I desire? Or what more do I got to say?

Expressions ain't willing to come out easily at times, speaking up your heart isn't that easy. :D all in all, sometimes, its just a little different. Yet those smiles keep shining, and sometimes you can almost feel it for yourself.

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Yet another end of academic year

Having come to the end of my fourth semester, it is such a relief. I remember, few months back I was waiting for my third semester exam to get over. Today I feel almost satisfied as I look back at the works I have done, and the pace I managed to hold. You know how sometime it gets hard to keep going. Lotey might be complaining, may be I am just a little too weak than a lot you, but then again who doesn't feel the burden at least once in a while.

The best I could do was not giving up and being able to take it to the end. This feeling of contentment is one another divine spirit that keep pushing me through with encouragement, and it only widens the enthusiasm in me.

Exam days we become restless. You sit down to study and hear some passers by outside, you need to peep through the window to catch a glimpse of who they are. Other days you hardly bother even if Mr president passes by your door. One hour of study and you are hungry, fifteen minutes and you want to have a cup of tea or coffee, some chips or an ice cream break. So meanwhile you gain some weight also.

Anyway talking about today, I am happy that it is all over and I am relaxed until I begin my next semester, good thing I have break over two months.

Was talking to my mom and she said she misses me a lot. I consoled her saying ' just one year and I will be home'. 'Just' as it might have sounded a word but I know its hard for you and me both. In here, the word 'just' and 'one year' doesn't quite relate. No worries ama, your daughter is going to be back soon more matured, more understanding, more hardworking and as a more responsible person (..lolz, these are actually my few wishes..hehe), but sure I am going be three years older then. One year is not so a short duration but I need to hold on a little more because I already did for two years.

Ohh again, from another angle it sure is a short duration. Last year this time of the year I remember me and my buddies, watching movie the whole afternoon, drinking the whole evening and cooking at 3 o'clock in the morning cuz by then we would all be hungry. Our sleep hours were usually from somewhere around 4 am till pass midday. Those days were awesome, guys! my three buddies, u guys are the coolest ever. This year has become a little different, but I still look forward to such moments in future as we still have one more year to go.

All in all, end of my second year :D

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