I get tired at times. Running away from ones own feeling is the worst chase I have ever had. Why am I not speaking up, when I got too much to pour out? It is not because I don't have ear that would listen. Friends are there I know. So then why? when it is known that speaking out lessens the pain you hold.
After all these years, I suddenly remembered the day when I first saw you. It was just a casual encounter, in a crowd. Nothing special, was just like seeing another stranger like we do in our every day life. I can never remember how when and where the second time I saw you. I probably didn't have you anywhere in my mind back then. However, time did bring us together. Now I can figure out it was after one or two years of my first seeing you that we became friends.
Was it the time, fate, destiny, something that i chose or was it our having to be together that made me develop this so called unusual feeling towards you? I shall never have the answer to this question. Anyways, whatever it was, there we went, became friends. Indeed a friend to remember and friendship to last till the end of times. The days I remember were the best of times. Nothing in particular I can remember to write it down.
One unknown day I realized I was in love with the person whom I truly defined as a friend. However, nothing could be changed when I had to face the fact that your heart had already been occupied. Hard were the days, those days where I lost someone who weren't mine from the very beginning. I did tell myself it wasn't the end of life but still went through a little unspoken emotional dejection. Those days, I tell, experienced a friend called loneliness. Loneliness despite the loving friends around me. Something always seemed empty within me.
However were the times. Life went by, time passed by and here I am today, writing this article. Memory remains and 'that' we cherish.
I don't blame you for all that I went through cuz I know one cannot fulfill everyone's expectation. One has the right to choose one's happiness and that happiness one cannot sacrifice for someone else. I truly know, I have no hard feelings of any sort towards you. In fact I owe you appreciations cuz from your love I learned to let go. I learned to love. Learned to just love, expecting nothing in return. From your love I experienced the very love itself. Now I understand the ones with broken heart.
I am glad that I met you one time. I miss you sometimes and when I miss you..i just miss you, nothing more or nothing even less!
0 comments:
Post a Comment